Viagra users demand women take drug to boost libido and keep up!

Why did men Invent Viagra?

If you think I am going to answer that question you are out of your mind. It has been answered many times before by many different types of people and I feel no need to do so again. It was invented by a man!

What I am interested in; however, is the new drug that will “boost libido” in woman. Why am I interested in this drug? Well, because the drug wouldn’t have been invented if not for Viagra. All of a sudden these old guys can and do expect to have sex with apparent ease and their wives or partners are having a hard time being interested. I was at a coffee place the other day and I overheard these two women discussing their sex lives. One was complaining about how often her husband wanted to have sex and how disinterested she was and the other was echoing the same tune and complaining about the invention of Viagra. Both were saying it had ruined a perfectly good sex life in a long term marriage. Both were talking about how uncomfortable sex was for them and how they now dreaded the times when their husbands appeared to be interested in sex. They said it went on for too long and was painful for them.I found this conversation fascinating as I had no idea this was happening in many households.  I did a little research on the street and found this to be true.

I happen to be in this demographic which is part of the reason I find it so interesting. I am surprised at how many men think that Viagra is crucial to having a good sex life and that taking  it enhances a woman’s pleasure. Women for the most part don’t have orgasms from intercourse and this is a fact that many men over the age of 50 don’t seem to be able to accept. Men having and maintaining an erection is just not that important to women as we function sexually in a different manner than many men appear to understand. Of course, if we love our man we want him to enjoy sex and achieve orgasm but we are different anatomically than men are… A younger woman friend of mine told me while discussing this issue that she found men my age not that great in bed as they didn’t understand what younger men now did. I was happy to hear that younger men understood what women have known for centuries. A penis is a nice thing but just not crucial in a woman’s enjoyment of sex.

Web MD states that the demographic for Viagra use is changing and that younger men are filling prescriptions for Viagra. The fastest growing segment of Viagra users are now men under 40 and Pfizer, the makers of Viagra, state that this is understandable as younger men want their sexual performance to be superior. They also state that Viagra use permits erections after 10 minutes of rest which is supposedly good for a couple’s sex life. Now I wonder who they spoke with to get that statistic. The wife? What woman would want more sex after 10 minutes if she had been really satisfied the first time? Not that many.

Another very interesting thing is that often insurance companies will pay for Viagra prescriptions and not for birth control pills. So what does that mean? We will pay for men to get it up and have sex but not for women to use protection?

It seems interesting to me that men want to have sex with or without their partner’s enjoyment. Of course this “boosting libido” drug for women has been invented as women must now in many cases have more sex with their husbands or partners due to Viagra. Of course it was invented by a man. Of course men believe there must be a flaw in women if they no longer desire their man. Of course the answer is another drug!

We are involved in the culture of returning to nature as in “slow food”. What happened to good old fashioned slow sex?

 There is an obvious way to make women more interested in having sex and it doesn’t involve taking a pill. It does, however, involve a mouth and a brain: the two most erotic body parts. The brain thinks of sensitive and loving things to say and the mouth says them. Got you there, didn’t I? I am serious about this. Why don’t men get this? They are not stupid, only penis centered. If they want more sex all they have to do is be thoughtful and loving to their partner and tune in to what she needs to make sex not only comfortable but enjoyable.

The most erotic thing to a woman is an offer of help, or, even better, helping without being asked. Now that is a turn on. I can’t believe how many women are still suffering in silence on this issue. The most erotic thing to me in a man is generosity: not just with money but with soul. There are a million books out on how to please a woman! Instead of buying or inventing a new drug to match Viagra why not invest in knowledge which will enrich your partnership? Why not enrich your partnership by becoming “other” focused rather than “it’s all about me!”Wouldn’t it be interesting if we lived in a matriarchy where the women were in charge and chose what to do and when to do it? If this were true, women readers, what would you do? I’ll say this; there were a lot fewer wars during matriarchies and a lot more great art, literature and poetry and I bet, GREAT SEX!

Bullies and How To Treat Them

Bullies and How to treat them

I am writing a lie with the above title as I have no idea how to treat bullies. Actually it is one of the things in life I am working on: my reaction time to bullies. I ran into one at my little gym the other day. Let’s call him “R”.  “R” was in the gym when I arrived using the elliptical trainer. I sat down on the exercise bike, put my headphones on, and began my workout. AT first there was calm in this small space as two people worked off their frustrations on exercise machines while reading and listening to whatever.  Suddenly all of that changed. “R” received a call on his cell and began to talk about inane stuff in a voice that penetrated my headphones and my brain as well. I felt incredibly annoyed and was unable to focus on my own paper and music. I focused instead on how annoying and rude this behavior was. I thought about how people who use cell phones in places where others are reading or watching TV are really thoughtless. I found myself becoming angrier and angrier. I used most of my Buddhist practices to attempt to overcome this anger. I got nowhere.

At this point I knew I needed to get off the bike and leave the room before I let myself get really mad. I know this sounds ridiculous. I really do. I know I should be able to ignore people who do this kind of thing but I resent people who ignore common courtesy.  I believe that we should all live in a respectful manner and it surprises me when I run into people who don’t have the same attitude. It really surprises me when I am in the gym of a private club in Tiburon. What makes me think people should behave better here? Look at Madoff. I bet he belonged to a lot of private clubs.

Anyway, back to that morning…I went to the club office and asked the manager what the cell phone policy was in the club. I was told there wasn’t a specific one but rather one much likes my own idea of how to behave. The club officers thought members would know appropriate behavior.

After learning this you would have thought I would feel vindicated but I returned to the gym and reassembled myself on the bike only to hear “R” address me in a loud voice.

“Is my talking on the cell bothering you?” he asked in a rather belligerent tone.

Here’s where I caved. Instead of simply saying “Yes” and looking him in the eye, I responded “Well, yes, it is, and we do have an unspoken policy that…”

I was interrupted at this point by “R” who said, “I wasn’t asking about unspoken policy, I was asking you whether or not my cell phone was an issue. Well! Yes or no? I don’t need to hear any BS about unspoken policy!!”  As he was saying this his voice grew louder and his stance became more aggressive. He was peddling more furiously and I was scared. Here is where I need help. What I should have said was, “Yes, your cell phone conversation bothered me and your behavior now is really out of line!”

I should have said “Does it make you feel powerful and important to bully women?”

I should have said, ““R”! Anger management! That’s all I have to say!

I find it difficult to deal with rude people and I usually avoid them and that is what my next move was. I gathered up my things and left the gym, realizing if I stayed it would have been a battle not to engage with “R”’s angry energy.

In retrospect I am trying not to be hard on myself for not fighting back when people bully me. I know that is the only behavior that stops bullies. I am thinking of signing up for a class in Judo or Karate. I am imagining myself the next time I run into “R” jumping into a ready stance with my hands up ready for the killer hit. Imagining this helps me a lot! I know I will be better prepared next time! I bet “R” will not or at least I hope he won’t. I like to win.

Drunk Men and Women Who Hate Them

So tonight I had dinner with a friend who has been a friend for a long time. We shared a lot of laughs and had a great time as we always do. This woman is about ten years younger than me and is very attractive. I love to see her charming people (men) with her batting eyes and great figure. Tonight something changed and it was very interesting to me.

AT the end of our dinner as we were getting ready to leave the restaurant an older guy who had obviously had a lot to drink, came up to Sandy, put his arm around her, and asked if he bought her a bottle of champagne would she meet him for breakfast. Sandy laughed, and said “No”.

The guy stayed right where he was and leaned into her and asked her name which she gave to him still laughing.

I said to him, “She’s married.”

He said “Oh is that a problem? I noticed that!”

I asked him to leave us alone. He stayed.

Sandy still laughed.

Finally he left.

I was furious and I was also really interested in why I was so furious. Yes, of course, I was furious because he hadn’t been hitting on me. Ego bruised and all. I have to admit that was part of it. So I decided to think about what I would have done if it had been me. Would I have been less mad?


I think I find men who are drunk repulsive. I know that I find men who think women will melt under their”great charm” even more repulsive.

In the long run tonight was interesting as it made me look at the essence of valuing yourself in a world where attractive women are entities to be won or lost or not even given a place in the race? Perhaps it made me feel old. I can’t figure it out yet.I do know I really hate drunk men.

My Madrid Man

so I met this guy in Madrid  and asked if I could take his picture. He smiled as if he did this all the time and posed against his car. I really liked this guy as he was so comfortable with himself. He lived in a town where everyone was a little unusual but I liked it there. It wasn’t as if people were mean or weird, they were themselves. Maybe there is something in the air in Madrid that allowed its townspeople to be happy just with what they had. Painting their houses red and blue, placing signs on their flowerpots, cowboy boots on their graves and making a world of hot color hues. I think you should visit Madrid and if you find my Madrid man, tell him thank you for making me believe there were still guys like him out there.