I remember when I was young and beautiful but at the time
I thought I was fat and boring. Maybe my mirrors were bad or
my astigmatism was uncorrected.
Now I think I am bewildered about what I did in my life
and why I stayed where I stayed.
I have written to the British royal family and asked them to consider
adopting me. I think I would be a good addition as I know how to dress
and have beautiful table manners and I really feel comfortable with a strict schedule.
I would know instinctively how to back out of a room, and how to occupy
myself during the daytime hours.
I would certainly never embarrass anyone and I like the idea of knowing
what was going to happen for the next 7000 days.
I love dogs so I would fit right in.
I look good in riding clothes even though I am 70 but the horse
always knows I am afraid of him.
I don’t think it’s a lot to ask of the royal family because they need help
and so do I. It’s a very equitable solution for all. I don’t need a title
though I would like a crown. I like the idea of living in a house
with many other people who have no idea how many people are actually living
In the house. It’s the idea of all those bodies there that brings comfort
and the prescribed nature of life which is soothing.