Full Moon: A Moment

Map of the Moon engraved by Polish astronom Jo...
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Full Moon: A Moment

It’s a full moon: Let the antics begin.

The spider is dangling from one arm like a performing monkey,

Mist is sweating the Frangipani tree,

A man kissed a woman and then slapped her,

The slow, sweet cat rubs against an ear,

The moon spots the Moorish roof

And the ear hears her chants,

We breath in and the out blows softly against the night

Encouraging her not to blacken too soon.

A moment, a scent, some lips, a noise,

Skin , lichen, lilies,

Rain is sweeter than any .

Rain is sweeter than memory.

Full Moon Tonight: Put on Your Dreaming Shoes!

Venus Jupiter & the new Moon in Harmony
Image by 3D King via Flickr

I am copying my friend, Brenda Brush’s wriing from her website: www.brendabrush.com below as I think it is an important observation. She is a kind of astrological genius as she predicts what happens in the world and I have had some amazing conversations with her.Anyway I think in this piece on the full moon tonight she is very accurate.

Probably most of you have recently felt a shift in our lives. This shift has been on a more positive note than in previous months. Things seem lighter and more lively. There is less effort involved with making things happen. loneliness is lessened and connections have strengthened. The world has needed to fall apart before its inhabitants were able to draw closer to one another.

Relationships that have no meaning are being cast aside and those which have meaning are springing up all the time and without the least bit of effort. If you let this happen around you and allow fear to fall away I think you will find some amazing feelings of joy and peacefulness arise within you.

I had a visit from my wonderful daughter last week and we took a hike in the Bear Valley. I was filled with a profound sense of peace and happiness. It wasn’t a particularly taxing hike or a long one, it was a hike where each piece of nature seemed to call out to us and remind us how lovely she is. The bark on the underside of the trees, the lichen on the large rocks, the sound of the small stream finding its way down the mountain, all reminded us of the moment.

I had forgotten how much I enjoy hiking.

Below is what I think it is very important information.

October 16th, 2010

Dear Friends,

The New Moon in Libra was launched on the 7th of October. The emphasis is on bringing our lives into balance. Getting cooperation where necessary, and to move things along. Opportunities may be coming your way, or you may already be wrestling with some options. Venus, the ruler of Libra, went retrograde in Scorpio on the 8th of October to bring things that have been buried to the surface. This may be a time when you are able to retrieve some part of you that you have lost. Venus will begin a new year and a half cycle, in the middle of her retrograde, on the 28th of October. We are in this deep and intense waiting period. What is next? What kind of feedback will you get during this Venus retrograde that will help shape your future?

This brings me to discuss the Full Moon that will arrive on October 22nd at 9:37 pm EDT at 29 degrees of Aries. A Full Moon brings to fruit what the New Moon promises. This should be a very interesting Full Moon because it is sitting at the last degree of Aries. It is bringing things into your life that you cannot refuse. A new identity is emerging, and there will be the letting go of the role you have been attached to.

There is a feeling of waiting when there is a something activating 29 degrees of a sign. There is also anticipation. There is also a feeling of “It’s about time”. Since Aries is the first sign of the Zodiac and has to do with initiating things, you may begin to initiate something that will demand all of you. Aries is also the sign of identity. You may be encouraged to grow, and learn new things to expand your lifestyle.

Mars is the ruler of the sign Aries, therefore, it is the ruler of this Full Moon, and it is currently in Scorpio. Out of the ashes rises the phoenix. This iS the time of rebirth; or, we are getting a second chance to be. Mars joined Venus retrograde in Scorpio on October 3rd. The message was transmitted. Venus is what we want, and Mars is the action necessary to get it. Mars went ahead and Venus kept retrograding in a deeply searching mode. She is cleaning up the loose ends of the past and preparing for what is to come. This Full Moon, ruled by Mars, will bring things to a head. That happens on the 22nd, and we will feel it until the next Full Moon on November 21st. Change is in the air and it is time to move on. This Full Moon period will include Venus starting her New Cycle on the 28th of October, and Venus going direct on November 18th. A lot will be happening between this Full Moon in Aries and the next one in Taurus.

The rest of the story, as presented by the other Planets at the time of this Full Moon, is quite interesting. This Full Moon takes place in the last of Aries. The last ten degrees of Aries is ruled by the sign Sagittarius. So, the co-ruler of this lunation is Jupiter, the ruler of Sagittarius. Jupiter is currently in Pisces loosening all the boundaries and limitations. This will enable us to see an unlimited vision of what the future is offering. Jupiter is the planet of knowledge, knowing things, and how we can grow and expand. Jupiter has been keeping company with Uranus for the last 10 months. They joined on June 8th at 00 degrees of Aries planting some seeds for a new beginning. They both went retrograde, and went back into Pisces where they continued to stay together. They are launching a 12 year cycle which will offer us a higher level of awareness to operate from. Jupiter pulls away from Uranus when it re-enters Aries on January 22nd. In the meantime, Uranus is the Planet of awakening. Uranus wants change. Uranus wants us to get out of our comfort zone and do what we do in a new way. Jupiter is all for the expansion and growth. With the two of them united you cannot help but move forward in a new way. Uranus wants us to get over ourselves and open up. Uranus is the Planet of freedom. Do you know how to be free without upsetting what you already have? That is the key.

Now, there is another player in the drama of this Full Moon at 29 degrees of Aries, and that is Neptune. The last two and a half degrees of Aries is ruled by Pisces, therefore, Neptune is a co-ruler. Neptune has been in Aquarius for 13 years. It is due to leave that area over the next year or so. Neptune stays in each sign fourteen years. Neptune dissolves boundaries. Neptune is the energy of letting go and trusting. It is the ability to hear the music of life and move gracefully with that energy. The negative side of Neptune is addiction. Trying to escape from the pressures of life rather than trusting and flowing with the energy. Aquarius is the sign that represents humanity. It is the sign of invention, breaking the mold, and thinking for ourselves. In Aquarius, you get away from self, and expand to help your fellowman. Over the last thirteen years, we have been able to connect with one another, because of the technology that has emerged. Aquarius is responsible for the development of all the social networking sites. Neptune opened all that up, but since Neptune is not about boundaries you have to set your own in order to operate safely in a world that has become wide open. Chiron is keeping company with Neptune. The last time that happened was September, 1945 at 5 degrees of Libra. That was the end of the Second World War. Now, Neptune and Chiron are together again, but this time in Aquarius, and it is time for us to heal one another. It is softening the boundaries that divide us, so we can understand and appreciate one another. We are all one, but each of us brings a unique quality to the world. It is time to enjoy the difference, then, we can grow.

There was a Solar Eclipse July 21st, 2009 at 29 degrees of Cancer. A Solar Eclipse holds the energy in that degree for a couple of years. Cancer is the sign of the Zodiac that has to do with home, family, roots, security, and everything that gives us shelter in life. This has brought those issues up. This Full Moon at 29 degrees of Aries is square to that Solar Eclipse. It is bringing up those challenges. The need to pay attention to what we need and what changes need to be made. Things will begin to show up now that will give you a clue as to what direction to move into. Every Full Moon from now until March will be 29 degrees of a sign. This is the first one and starts the ball rolling in the direction where you want to find yourself by March/April of 2011. Cancer is the sign of the Zodiac that shows what we care about, and what we want to protect. It is those things that are important to us now.

Jupiter moves into Aries on January 22nd, Uranus moves into Aries on March 11th, and so it seems we need to prepare ourselves to take the lead in our lives. This Full Moon, in Aries at 29 degrees, is giving you a heads up. Things are changing, and you need to steer the issues that come up in the way that serves you best. Happy New You that is slowly developing. Allow the energy in.

Blessings, Brenda

 All times are for EST time and when appropriate EDT

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Finding and Losing Friendship:Trust Your Instincts

Instinct (electronic sports team)
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Remember to use your instinct

Last night I was reminded of why using your gut is important in life. I have a friend with whom I have been friendly for 30 years or more and last night I had dinner with him. I tend to keep my friendships over the years as time seems more valuable than true connection in some cases. Most of the people in my life are those that I love and that love me to one degree or another. I feel blessed in that area and most days I encounter someone who falls into that category. I love being with people but I find after a couple of hours I am happy to be left alone once again to reflect on what has transpired between us. I really treasure my alone time as it refreshes and relaxes me which is something I need daily. It is clear to me that I am an introvert at heart.

Anyway, last night I was invited to dinner by someone who has been a friend for many years and instinctively, I didn’t want to go but I did. I couldn’t verbalize to myself exactly why it was I didn’t want to go but the feeling was clearly there. Once I met him at the restaurant all I wanted to do was get out of there. I realized how angry I was at him and how annoying I found him. I carefully responded to his questions and made conversation with him all the while wondering what was up with me and this very visceral response of mine?

After a while I got it which one usually does if you stick with it. I knew this man really wasn’t on my side but was angry at me for some reason. This thought came to me in a flash and had taken 12 years to get there. Here was my lesson. I pride myself on never ending a relationship in a bad way if I can help it and have most of my ex’s still in my life as devoted friends. I call them my “back up team”. I really mean that as I call them for advice or counsel and try to stay a part of their lives. I think they know I would be there for them in a second should they need me.

My friend last night suffers from defensiveness which I can also suffer from. What made me learn how to solve this problem is going to work at Cal and having written evaluations done by students every term on my teaching performance. If I had let every negative comment affect me I wouldn’t have been able to continue on there. I learned that when my weekly column was made into mincemeat by the student editor I went back to my house, looked at the edits she had made, and called her to thank her.

I learned the only way I was going to get anywhere in life was to look at what others were doing in the same line as me and see what they did better and go on to learn from their example. It took me 20 years to learn this but I did. If you close your eyes to the work of others in the field you are in you will never become the best in your field. As a writer I constantly read: several newspapers, two books at a time, many magazines, poetry, and without these tools of my trade I would never improve my work which is my goal.

Along with improving my work I also strive to be a better friend. I try to listen without always adding a similar story of my own and to offer feedback without being judgmental. This is not always easy. I am a” jumper inner” which is a nature that requires toning down. I am also really hard on myself and that is not such a great quality in the long run.

Anyway last night it was clear to me that my friend was not in my corner and would never be there. He was still angry at the past and unable to love in the present. It was clear to me that he was constantly judging my behavior in the events we had been at together and in order to feel stronger than me he found fault with me. I have been here before and I bet most of you, my readers, have as well. It doesn’t feel good. If you are in this dynamic with another there is no way to solve it as a person who is in this corner can’t get themselves out of it unless they want to. Many of us stay in the corner because it is too frightening to try to get out and the older you are the more precious energy is required to change…It seems easier to be critical of others rather than looking at your own behavior.

Trying involves facing what others say about you, facing how the world has evaluated you, facing your own fears of inadequacy and moving on. Frankly, once you get moving, it’s not that tough. The toughest part is getting moving. I did it initially by pretending I was a man. I often do this in business situations as I find it helps me get to the outcome I am hoping for. I just kind of muscle my way through. “Feedback” I would say, “Come on hit me with all you have got!”

Competition is a good thing and what you learn from it even better. The best thing, however, is learning to listen to your instinct and doing what it tells you to do. If you feel that someone is not on your side you are probably right. If you don’t have a pleasant time with someone but always notice how on guard you are then don’t spend time with that person. Most of all, try to find people in your life who really support you and want you to find happiness and achievement.  The one very obvious thing that we sometimes forget is that you can’t change other people so it is a waste of time to try to or to talk or think about how much they annoy you. There is no reason to focus on this at all. A better place to focus is on doing your work as best as you can and by being as generous as you can with your love in the world. Those are my Sunday thoughts…hope you enjoy them.

BTW! Hotel Possibility is fiction and not a real place! Many readers loved the idea and wrote asking me where it was located. The responses from this piece were fascinating. I wrote it with a ” tongue in cheek” attitude thinking people would know it was a bit of a philosophical outlook on the difficulties of dating. I was wrong. Men wrote and said why waste money on two room? Most of these men were over 60. Women of the same age loved the idea but were hesitant to publically agree feeling it might annoy their guys. The most positive group were the under 40’s who loved the idea and wanted to invest in it so maybe this is the way of romance in the future? Who knows?

Welcome to the Hotel Possibility!

Water Bombs filled with water
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A New Way to be Sure About Your New Relationship

Tired of aimless dating that leads nowhere?

Looking for a life partner and not willing to waste anymore time?

Willing to spend a week with your potential new mate and pay for it?

Well then, welcome to Hotel Possibility: the place where you can learn what is really up with the new person in your life.

Hotel Possibility is open to the possibility that if two people who are attracted to one another spend a week in each other’s company they will discover whether or not they are compatable and thus save a lot of  time and money in the  future.

Hotel Possibility is a quiet, well situated place with 50 rooms each with a separate bath. There is a restaurant with excellent food as well as numerous sports facilities on the premises. The hotel grounds are comprised of 50 acres of rolling hills with a nine hole golf course, a shooting range, and several tennis courts. There is also a large work out facility and two pools: one indoor and one outdoor. Spa services are available at any hour of the day or night. Service is our middle name here at Hotel Possibility.

When a couple signs up for a week at Hotel Possibility they receive a packet which contains a brief questionnaire for both to fill out. Upon receiving the questionnaires as well as a 50% deposit for the week, a couple is given their schedule as well as the medical tests they will receive on the first day. Hotel Possibility removes all issues for new couples by providing testing for all possible communicable diseases and has results ready within 24 hours.

Once a couple has been given the test results, they will also be given a series of psychological tests which will determine their compatibility. Each couple will be given a lie detector test using the questions their new prospective partner wants them to answer. Our staff psychologists worked previously with Wall Street professionals and are experienced with discovering exaggeration and mistruth.

After the first 48 hours at the hotel the couple has all the practical information they may need to know about each other and can decide at this point if they want to continue with the week’s plan. Should a couple decide to leave at this point they are refunded the balance of their deposit with the exception of medical costs, meals and 2 night’s occupancy.

Over the course of the next 4 days each couple engages in a series of social events, athletic events and solo evenings. There are guided conversations, water balloon fights, roller coaster rides as well as quiet time on the golf course. All couples are encouraged to nap each afternoon.

Hotel Possibility eliminates all the stress of dating and gives you a safe place to really get to know the one you are interested in. The atmosphere is discreet and peaceful yet lively and fun. Some of our couples miss the midnight disco when they return to the real world.

Why not try our hotel? It is the only place of its kind in the world? Don’t spend any more time wondering and waiting for the romance to unfold. Book two rooms at the Hotel Possibility and see whether or not you can make a match before a year more of your life passes. No guest has ever said they didn’t have a really good time!

Tyler Clementi:The crime of Psychological Manslaughter

Bullying on IRFE as of March 5, 2007 (the firs...
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Tyler Clementi: The crime of Psychological Manslaughter

In reviewing the death of Tyler Clementi with friends and family, everyone had an opinion on what should be done to the two students who caused his sexual encounter to be publically broadcast and his resulting suicide. Some felt his death would be punishment enough for the two young people believing their lives would never be the same. The majority, however, felt there should be some type of retribution for this death paid by the two students who intentionally bullied Tyler.

A friend of mine, Joanne, invented a new term which seems apt to me. “Psychological manslaughter”.

We have Vehicular manslaughter, why not psychological manslaughter? I can think of many crimes this term might be attributed to. People who have been cruel to other people , abused others verbally, played tricks on them,  manipulated and ignored others….the list goes on and on.  The net result was the suicide of the tormented person. The crime of causing the suicide of Tyler deserves  a conviction. If these two individuals had not been students at Rutgers, Tyler would still be alive.

Psychological manslaughter would be an accurate description of what happened in this case. I hope the courts consider the facts and consider a punishment that fits the crime. Bullying seems to be escalating in all age groups but particularly the young. Setting a boundary of acceptable behavior would be a good thing.

Death, Dying and No Explanation

Recently there has been a lot of talk about death in my circle of friends. Friends have died, some old some not, and there are a few articles in the news about suicides in the younger generation. I find death very hard to pin down in my own Meta analysis of life as I am not afraid of it nor do I worry about it but I can’t specifically explain why this is.

It has been clear to me from a young age that death is not an end, but a beginning. I remember when my Grandfather died how upset all the adults were in our family. I felt sad to miss his company but not sad for him. In fact, I knew that he was now in a place where he could experience joy and peace. I was seven years old and I could clearly see him there.

I am not a particularly religious person: not catholic or even very Protestant but I have always understood that death was not bad or frightening or something to spend one’s life in fear of.

I know I am really lucky to have this inner belief as very few out there seem to feel as I do. Particularly men. I have quite a few men friends who are freaked out at the thought of their own death. They become depressed when they have a slight medical problem and convince themselves they are dying. In this image they feel fear, remorse, but mostly loneliness. I think this is true because that’s what I hear in my healing work. Maybe men fear death more than women because they often have trouble being vulnerable with people and may have lives that are not authentic with close ties to others they love. It seems to be that the more success you have the less connected in a genuine way you are with others in your life.

I know, I know. Some of you will say I am taking this too far. Perhaps I am. My father was terrified of death and really angry at the same time. After he died we found books from the Hemlock Society in his library as what he feared most was being incapacitated and having to be dependent on the care of others. He died alone and angry and refused to allow his wife or family near him. He just wanted to go out mad and he did.

I guess I would like people to consider that there is more after we die. There is more than what we imagine. Maybe death is a door to another world where life is very different but not frightening.

I have been with a few people when they die. I always find it a privilege. I know that playing Frank Sinatra is better than Rachmaninoff and whispering that you love the person with a laugh in your voice is better than filling their ears with your tears.

Tyler Clementi: A Talented Young Man

Old Queens, at Rutgers University, on a wintry...
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Tyler Clementi: A Lovely Young Man


Tyler Clementi, a freshman at Rutgers University, jumped off the George Washington Bridge on September 22nd, and was labeled a suicide by local authorities. The day before this event Tyler’s roommate, Dharun Ravi and his friend, Molly Wei, used a secret video cam to record a sexual encounter between Tyler and a male friend in Tyler’s dorm room. They not only recorded this encounter but broadcast it over the internet and advertised that fact to the Rutgers community as well as the entire world. The two have been arrested and charged with invasion of privacy and using a camera to broadcast a private encounter over the internet. I think they should be charged with murder.

Why did this happen? What would motivate two young people to spy on another in so public a manner? What kind of sick mind-set is at work when someone decides to publicly broadcast sexual behavior and sexual preference at the age of 18? Yes, 18! The two people who set up the camera and advertised the episode were also 18 and classmates of Tyler’s.

I would also like to know why this happened. Why was Tyler’s sexual episode deemed worthy of a secret camera and an internet video? I thought we were beyond the days of condemning sexual behavior that did not happen between a man and a woman in the missionary position. I wonder what the parents of these two young people are thinking about tonight. I hope they are thinking about why their children were motivated to do this terrible thing. I hope these children are remorseful and desperate and terrified about what they have done to the life of another human being.

The sexual preference of anyone should be their right and their choice to either share with the world or not share. I have relatives who are gay and many friends and most of them have shared with me the difficulty of deciding when to “come out” and the pain that came along with that decision. The pain came from fear of not knowing how the news would be accepted by family and friends. It is not an easy thing to do for some and it was particularly difficult in the past. We are supposed to be living in a time of openness and acceptance. Obviously Tyler did not feel this way. We will never know how Tyler felt but we can know with great certainly that he would still be alive today had none of this happened. He might have spent time at college enjoying his musical talent, discovering what he wanted in life and following his bliss. Instead he was ridiculed and belittled to such an extent that he felt he had to end his life.

Every day I read in the news stories about bullying behavior in school. I read about parents having to defend their children from bullies and how schools are trying to prevent this behavior. I wonder where it comes from and hope very desperately it will stop. Haven’t we spent enough time in this world hating everyone that was different from what we are? Haven’t we spent enough energy fighting prejudice and hate and war and murder?

I feel so sorry for Tyler’s parents in their terrible grief and anger and frustration at what happened to their son. I hope this case gets a lot of publicity and people who read about this tragic death resolve to never allow this behavior to happen. I hope parents resolve to work more with their kids at the first sign of prejudice and I hope the world takes notice of the passing of a sweet and gentle young man who loved music and life.