Lonely in paris
Even in Paris I can be lonely. Even if you are with someone you love. Even if you are staying in the most romantic hotel with the most romantic man, you can still be looking at the rooftops in the moonlight and feel that feeling in your heart which says you are sad. If only a bit, you are still sad. if you look at why and have no answer , perhaps it is because you prefer the sadness as it is so familiar. It is like the perfect old cashmere sweater which you take out on the nights you know you will need the safety of familiar softness. Paris makes me want to open myself to every creative thought I have ever experienced. The city is so filled with wonder and beauty. There is an excitement in the air but also a sense of safety in the history of it all. I feel here as if the world understands pain which is why the expression “L’heure bleu” originated here. That hour between the sun falling into the sky and the evening beginning to spread out before you is the dark hour to some of us,In the darkness of the evening which is never as dark as other cities, one feels almost happy to be abandoned as only in this abandonment can one feel the possibility of true knowledge. That is the goal, after all. I am grateful to be in Paris and to have been given this trip as I was losing hope for the world. I have found it in seeing the whimsy around me and feel now as if I can return to my life with more patience.