fall in love for the right reasons

What the Hell does that mean? I really hate that phrase particularly when people say it who have small and mean mouths. What could possibly be the “right” reason to fall in love? That you found the object of your affection fascinating? That you were irresistibly drawn to that person for reasons you could never articulate?That when you were with that person you felt calm and content or crazy and agitated? There doesn’t appear to be a right answer here for any one particular person as it is different for everyone. The one constant is the desire of most people to want to find someone with whom they feel safe and secure and beloved. I happen to believe that in every relationship there is a lover and a beloved. I am always the lover. I am changing my ways and am going to take on the beloved role now that I am a true adult. It must be nice to be the beloved. You sit there and bask in the admiration of the lover who is always considering what it is that might make you happier, more comfortable or more cosy. The beloved has no problem knowing what name to put on the form at the hospital where you must fill in the name of whom to notify in the event of an emergency. I remember once taking a boyfriend to the hospital for a test very early in the morning. We had been dating almost a year and I felt things were pretty solid. I watched him fill out his form very carefully and then asked him whose name he had written in the space for notifying someone in an emergency. He looked up at me rather sheepishly and said that he had written the name of his ex wife in that space. I felt really angry at first and then I just felt sad. I have an “ex” as well but I would never put his name in that space on my form as we just don’t have that type of relationship.I know a lot of single people like me who have sadness around this issue.We all want to be in love for whatever reason there might be. When we believe in love we are very frightened underneath it all as getting older doesn’t make losing at love easier, it makes it much more difficult. Just as real wounds heal less fast in older people, so do wounds of the heart. Younger people don’t want to know this as most hope the pain of relationships will lessen as one ages. No such luck!

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